Leela Cosgrove

So, some of you may have heard the story – once upon a time, Thor the Saleswarlord was better known as Goth, the Bandboy. Songwriter, musician, heart-throb.

You may also have heard the Les Paul Story – but now it’s got an ending … so let’s revisit:

Three years ago, we had a cashflow crisis. We were coming up on our first 3 day event – we’d sold 10% of our database into the event, and exhausted what leads were left. We KNEW if we could just get through the event, everything would be okay- we’d make sales on the backend and everything would work out fine (it’s a common story – almost everyone underestimates the time and money it’s going to take to fill a large event!).

When Gulliver first offered to sell his Les Paul, I refused – I knew that 15 years before, as a starving rock muso, he’d slaved to buy  that guitar, cleaning bricks for $5 an hour. This was the guitar he’d lugged around from gig to gig – it represented all of his dreams of rock stardom …

He convinced me with the “Rocky” story – you know, the one about how Sly sold his dog and then got it back …

Gulliver sold his Les Paul guitar for $1,500.

The event was a success.

We were ready to go and buy it back when the news came …

Les Paul had died. We called the store – sold out.

Gulliver tells me he doesn’t regret it – but I’ve seen how his eyes mist up when anyone brings it up …

Yesterday, I bought Gulliver a $2,000 acoustic as a wedding gift. Not exactly a Les Paul, but given that he plays a lot more lounge-room gigs than stadium gigs these day, a tad more practical.

He proceeded to sit down and first – write me a song (yay!).

But second – to begin writing songs about the industry. What came out first take is above … actually pretty happy with the quality given that the audio was recorded on my $200 still camera (!).

He’s working furiously away on more songs and has an audio recorder line up – the album will be ready and will be performed live and launched at this years Renegade Rockstar Roadshow. Because when we say ROCK STARS we’re not full of shit. We LITERALLY mean Rock Stars (wait until you see what Rich Evans has in store!).

Wrong with Frank Kern – Lyrics

I used to have a nice beige suit it wore me everywhere
I used to dress just to impress so nobody would stare
I had a mask I couldn’t take off
I had a secret I couldn’t ford’ anyone to know

There was something wrong with me
There was something wrong with me
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME!?
But then I found out

What is wrong with me is wrong with Tony Robbins.
What is wrong with me is wrong with Gary Vaynerchuk
What is wrong with me is wrong with Jordan Belfort
What is wrong with me is wrong with Frank Kern

Wrong with Frank Kern.
Wrong with Frank Kern.
I’m fucking wrong with Frank Kern!

I used to have a mortgage and a shiny company car
I used to think my job was who I was – how bizarre
I gave my girlfriend shit because she called me unhappy
I almost killed my self because I hated being me

Cos there was something wrong with me.
Something horribly wrong with me
What the fuck is wrong with me
Maybe you can tell me?

What is wrong with me is wrong with Tony Robbins.
What is wrong with me is wrong with Gary Vaynerchuk
What is wrong with me is wrong with Jordan Belfort
What is wrong with me is wrong with Frank Kern

Wrong with Frank Kern.
Wrong with Frank Kern.
I’m fucking wrong with Frank Kern!

So whatever you do
Whatever you say
Don’t have an opinion
Don’t do things your way
The beige brigade will tell you
Emulation is the way

DON’T HAVE NEW IDEAS
DON’T HAVE NEW IDEAS
DON’T ROCK THE FUCKING BOAT
But.. ITS NOT MY BOAT!

What is wrong with me is wrong with Tony Robbins.
What is wrong with me is wrong with Gary Vaynerchuck
What is wrong with me is wrong with Jordan Belfort
What is wrong with me is wrong with Frank Kern

Wrong with Frank Kern.
Wrong with Frank Kern.
I’m fucking wrong with Frank Kern!

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